Differentiating your Needs from your Wants

Client:“Ok, we need a 4 bedroom…or maybe 5, yeah five would be nice, single story home, on a cul-de-sac, that’s a recently built home, with no HOA…oh…yea and low property taxes…some really mature trees, a three car garage…oh…and maybe a pool...that would be OK. "

Me: “No you don’t.”

I hate to say it, but I’m gonna.
We live in a ridiculously materialistic time. We “want” things because, unconsciously, wanting actually feels good! The excitement, anticipation, and enthusiasm of that Amazon package arriving on our porch is sometimes more pleasurable than actually receiving the package itself. Our egos are crazy like that!

I’ve recently seen 4 or 5 families that I personally know, completely renovate their kitchens, In each of these cases, the kitchens were less than ten years old, and were, by any standard, stunning as they were. Kitchens with dark cabinets got new white ones. Kitchens with white cabinets added glass and bright colors. Kitchens with tile floors got hardwood, and the kitchens with granite counter tops got…um…usually just different granite. Stunning? Yes. Needed? Of course not. Not even close.

When looking for a home, let’s define our “needs” first, then we’ll see if we can add a few of those “wants” along the way.

Going way back, "we" needed:

• At least one bedroom for the parents.
• Enough room for each child to sleep comfortably.
• A modest kitchen.
• At least one full bathroom
• Covered Parking.

During the 60s, however, our appetites grew accustomed to the following:

• A master bedroom: A Large room with an attached bathroom, shower, bath, and vanity.
• One bedroom per child.
• An additional bathroom, separate from the master bathroom.
• An attached two-car garage.
• A front yard and a back yard.

Further still,  we now “need”:

•  An office or den
• Preferred single story floorplan (a premium in many developments)
• A “Great Room” or open concept kitchen/family room
• A 3 or 4 car garage
• Formal Living Room
• Formal Dining Room
• Walk In Closets
• A guest room (that might be used twice per year)

The list above is why we’ve more than doubled the square footage of a “typical” single family home in America.

In the 1950’s, it wasn’t uncommon for a family of 6 to live in a home that was 1,150 sq. ft. Today, the average size of a single family home is nearly 2,400 sq. ft., with many developments selling tract homes in excess of 4,000 sq. ft.

Here’s where the art of listening; the art of differentiation comes in!

Often, it’s more about an agent’s ability to interpret what the client “means” as opposed to what the client “says.”

Consider this common dialogue between many home buyers and me:

Client: “We’re looking for 4 or 5 bedrooms, and…”

Agent: Spoken after a strategic pause, “Ok…so…do you need 4 or 5?”

Client: “Well we have two kids, but we also need an office and a playroom for the kids.”

Agent: “So you actually need 3 bedrooms!”

Que the clients looking at each other with thoughts of “Dude! This guys just isn’t listening!”

What these clients actually need is a three bedroom home with a den or a loft or an extra bedroom or a media niche or a willingness to use a formal dining room as an office or playroom or a three-car garage that can be converted into a two car with an additional room…and on and on. That is the difference between what I think I need…and what I need.

What makes this conversation so important is recognizing that very few homes have 5 bedrooms, so immediately requiring 5 bedrooms cuts our supply of homes by over 80%! The overwhelming majority of homes in America have 3 bedrooms, but many of those with three bedrooms have additional rooms and areas that suit the varied needs of the client.

In addition, instead of being stuck on square footage and bedrooms and bathrooms, there are countless other things to keep in mind when considering your needs and wants. Many of these considerations are far, far more important than size and bedrooms. Consider the list below:

• ·        Proximity to workplace
• ·        School district boundaries
• ·        Proximity to schools and extracurricular activites
• ·        A view
• ·        Orientation of the home on the lot
• ·        A planned development vs a rural area

Finally, I’ll stress this final point as it pertains to needs and wants. You may, in fact, be able to afford what you want.  However, this often leaves buyers in a condition that Realtors often call “Mortgage Broke.”  Yes, you can now afford your beautiful home, with all of its needs and wants.  But you can no longer afford your other needs and wants, such as a night at the movies, a summer road trip, back to school clothes, etc. 

So, please consider what you absolutely need. Consider what is ultimately more important that unnecessary features and luxuries at home. Consider the lifestyle you would like to sustain. You might find that giving up that guest room and asking your brother in law to sleep on the sofa over thanksgiving weekend might allow you to afford those Disneyland trips every summer!